They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
