I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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