The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
