what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you would pick up someone in the library
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
