Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
