dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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