my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
