Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
home. puking in laundry basket.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
All I want is dick and wine.
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