I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize