Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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