You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
