Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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