I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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