He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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