They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i think my cat just said my name.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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