The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
time to smoke my breakfast
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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