This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Dear god my vagina.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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