you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
