I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
