fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
