Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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