i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My room smells like vodka and shame
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize