grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
