the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
