he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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