I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
