I just cut my nipple shaving
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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