I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
