After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
