Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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