dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
