Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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