Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
