Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
