Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
