Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My life is pants optional.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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