WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
