marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
