I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
