my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
