yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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