guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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