just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
