i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
send nudes
from the living room?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize