just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
