somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
