That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
