i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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