It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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