We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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