I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
