I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
