dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize