Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
