youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
