This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
