i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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