marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
