R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
