My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
