I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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